The Princess Bride was film of revenge, true love, bitterness, and humor. The film had a brilliant plot, brilliant characters, and very annoying villains (I’m at you, Vizzini and Prince Humperdink). I love The Princess Bride.
Different things I really need to talk about, because they’re so fantastic.
Indigo Montoya: Indigo may be one of my favorite characters of all time. His father was murdered 20 years ago and he’s spent the whole time hunting for him and to kill him with the sword he murderer wanted a bargain on and killed because he won’t take said deal. Indigo has two massive scars on the two sides of his face, and it’s so creepy. The Man in Black v. Indigo Montoya sword fight was a great scene, and a brutal scene.
Quotes from Indigo Montoya
“Your brains, Fezzik’s strength, my steel.”
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
“Hello. My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
“I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?”
“I… am not right handed. … Also, I am not left handed.”
“You seem decent… I hate to kill you.”
“He’s dead. He can’t talk.”
“His true love is marrying another tonight, so who else has the cause for ultimate suffering?”
“My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man. He was a great swordmaker, my father. When the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before it was done… The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father. So naturally, I challenged his murderer to a duel. I failed. The six-fingered man left me alive, but he gave me these… I was eleven years old. And when I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
“Don’t bother me with trifles. After 20 years, at last my father’s soul will be at peace. There will be blood tonight!”
“That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when Count Rugen killed my father. The Man in Black makes it now… His true love is marry Prince Humperdinck tonight, so who else has cause for ultimate suffering?”
Vizzini was a real brain, but he was a villain, and a very boring villain. His “Inconceivable!” was really annoying! The battle of the wits against the Man in Black was another great scene.
“But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me….Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. First, let’s drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours….You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” – but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha… (Drops dead)”
“I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains… Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Morons.” (And yet failed the poison test…)
“You’re trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen.”
” Do you know what that sound is, Highness? Those are the shrieking eels! If you don’t believe me, just wait. They always grow louder when they’re about to feed on human flesh! If you swim back now I promise no harm will come to you… I doubt you’ll get such an offer from the eels.”
“I’ve hired you to help me start a war. It’s an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition… Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn’t buy brandy! And YOU: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed, in Greenland?”
Buttercup was a girl who marries the farmboy, who she loses, and turns bitter for the next five years and ends being the bride to the prince, who she does not love at all…
” I will never love again.”
“If you’ll release me, whatever you ask for ransom, you’ll get it I promise you.”
“You can’t hurt me. Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords.”
“You can die for all I care too!”
“You’re the Dread Pirate Roberts, admit it! … You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces… You killed my love.”
The Man in Black was awesome. He was involved in all the fun scenes, all the painstaking scenes, and he just has a great storyline.
“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
“No man of consequence.”
“All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right… and who is dead… They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.”
“You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.”
” It won’t be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose… I wasn’t finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right… Your ears you keep and I’ll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God! What is that thing,” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever… It’s possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all. DROP. YOUR. SWORD.”
“If you’re in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.”
“You seem a decent fellow… I hate to die.”
” You mean, you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword, and we’ll try and kill each other like civilized people?”
“That was a warning, Highness. Next time my hand flies on its own. Where I come from, there are penalties when a woman lies.”
” Look, I don’t mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t distract me.”
“My brains, his steel, and your strength against sixty men, and you think a little head-jiggle is supposed to make me happy?”
Westley was a confusing character. He came, he died, he returned, he dies, he is resurrected.
“As you wish.”
“This is true love – you think this happens every day?”
“No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt – no problem. There’s a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.”
“Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.”
“Well, I’m not saying I’d like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.”
“We are men of action, lies do not become us.”
“Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and he told me his secret. ‘I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts’ he said. ‘My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Dread Pirate Roberts either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Roberts has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.”
Prince Humperdinck one of the worst characters… maybe ever?
“That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.”
“I know, the people are quite taken with her. It’s odd, but when I hired Vizzini to have her murdered on our engagement day, I thought that was clever. But it’s going to be so much more moving when I strangle her on our wedding night. Once Guilder is blamed, the nation will truly be outraged – they’ll demand we go to war.”
“You truly love each other and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the story books say. And so I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will.”
“Please consider me as an alternative to suicide.”
Fezzik… useless, but funny.
“Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?”
“Oh good, my way. Thank you Vizzini… what’s my way?”
“You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.”
Battle of Wits theories:
Indigo Montoya Theory:
The Bad Guy wins Theory (which is in most films):
Whatever happens to Westley?:
Similarities to the pilot of BBC’s Sherlock:
Similarities to Pirates of the Caribbean: